Everybody handles their crisis in their own way. I handle my crisis in a very academic manner. I do not mean "academic detachment." Rather, I mean a fact based, and research oriented coping mechanism. I study my crisis. I research it. I analyze it. I handle it as if I were dealing with a business problem. Fact based assessment of the problem and a rational approach to a solution based on reason and not emotion. Once that is established as a base line, I can indulge in emotional embellishment of the situation and regale in subtleties of perceptual nuance.
When I suspected what I had, I have done as much as research as I could have possibly done. As cancers affecting women go, this is a nasty one with the highest mortality rate (if not the absolute number) associated with it. Even caught at an early stage, ovarian cancer is rarely considered "curable" in that the recurrence rate is very high, and the cancer is not deemed to have completely disappeared. I have seen one blunt statement of a doctor "You only know you are cured of ovarian cancer if you die of something else". Being an ovarian cancer survivor means she managed to keep a long stretch of remission. At the same time, recurrence in and of itself is not an indication of the worst scenario. There are women who live "a normal life" with ovarian cancer recurring every few years. With continuing advancement in medical science, a woman could live out her natural life span (albeit a few years shaved off, perhaps) with ovarian cancer as a "chronic disease".
I believe I will be a survivor. I believe I will find myself at the right most end of the statistical curve. I also believe this cancer will now forever be part of who I am - it's part of my life repertoire. So, under the circumstance, how should I manage all the resources at my disposal to "co exist" with this cancer? I need a strategy for resource management for the optimal outcome.
My biggest asset and ally is my husband. He will be there for me through thick and thin. All the same, though, I think it's important that I don't overtax him. Not just out of an altruistic motive, but even from a cold blooded resource management perspective. Given the nature of my disease, my effort to stay healthy and live out as much of my natural life span as I can will be a marathon, not a sprint. I need to manage all of my resources as renewable resource. A conversation management strategy is in order. I need to make sure dedication of my husband, good will of my friends, and care and concern of other family members all don't burn up in one big spark to generate a maximumly brilliant one time firework. Every one needs to pace himself/herself. Everyone needs a period of recharge. Every one needs to take care himself/herself first. I need to make sure nobody experience battle fatigue. More than anyone, my husband's resource needs to be managed carefully. I want him to make minimum adjustment required in terms of work commitment. I remember when I went back to work only a few weeks after the kids were born. Somebody said "Oh, so you want to be a CEO in no time" I answered "No I want to diversity my stress". That's what I want him to have: a diversified stress portfolio, where not all of his stress is solely due to my condition.
It's a long haul. No heroic measure on anybody's part. None of us will last long with that modus operandi.
When I suspected what I had, I have done as much as research as I could have possibly done. As cancers affecting women go, this is a nasty one with the highest mortality rate (if not the absolute number) associated with it. Even caught at an early stage, ovarian cancer is rarely considered "curable" in that the recurrence rate is very high, and the cancer is not deemed to have completely disappeared. I have seen one blunt statement of a doctor "You only know you are cured of ovarian cancer if you die of something else". Being an ovarian cancer survivor means she managed to keep a long stretch of remission. At the same time, recurrence in and of itself is not an indication of the worst scenario. There are women who live "a normal life" with ovarian cancer recurring every few years. With continuing advancement in medical science, a woman could live out her natural life span (albeit a few years shaved off, perhaps) with ovarian cancer as a "chronic disease".
I believe I will be a survivor. I believe I will find myself at the right most end of the statistical curve. I also believe this cancer will now forever be part of who I am - it's part of my life repertoire. So, under the circumstance, how should I manage all the resources at my disposal to "co exist" with this cancer? I need a strategy for resource management for the optimal outcome.
My biggest asset and ally is my husband. He will be there for me through thick and thin. All the same, though, I think it's important that I don't overtax him. Not just out of an altruistic motive, but even from a cold blooded resource management perspective. Given the nature of my disease, my effort to stay healthy and live out as much of my natural life span as I can will be a marathon, not a sprint. I need to manage all of my resources as renewable resource. A conversation management strategy is in order. I need to make sure dedication of my husband, good will of my friends, and care and concern of other family members all don't burn up in one big spark to generate a maximumly brilliant one time firework. Every one needs to pace himself/herself. Everyone needs a period of recharge. Every one needs to take care himself/herself first. I need to make sure nobody experience battle fatigue. More than anyone, my husband's resource needs to be managed carefully. I want him to make minimum adjustment required in terms of work commitment. I remember when I went back to work only a few weeks after the kids were born. Somebody said "Oh, so you want to be a CEO in no time" I answered "No I want to diversity my stress". That's what I want him to have: a diversified stress portfolio, where not all of his stress is solely due to my condition.
It's a long haul. No heroic measure on anybody's part. None of us will last long with that modus operandi.
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